February | 2014 | Surreal Entrepreneur

A letter to my “Niece”

Dear Jaq,

Happy 2nd birthday! Now, I know it’s a little late and I’m sure you have been waiting for something shiny, mildly dangerous, or… just money. But, we both know that I’m the most irresponsible “uncle” that ever existed. Fear not, (spoiler alert) an awesome set of plastic tools in a pink and green tool box is coming in the mail soon. In the mean time, I want to tell you some things that I wish someone would have told me when I was younger. Take it or leave it, but know I love you and only want the best for you!

1. Small victories are underrated.

As you grow up, your parents and loved ones will all tell you how special you are and that you can do anything in this world that you set your mind to. You will constantly be reminded that you can be president or the first person to walk on mars, or the first woman to reach the sound barrier on two wheels. While all of these things are ABSOLUTELY TRUE, remember that to be president, you have to get through high school, to walk on mars, you have to master walking, and to break the sound barrier on a motorcycle you might want to learn how to ride a bike first. This life is about pushing yourself to accomplish the first steps and gain momentum to take on the larger goals. Accomplishing small victories will be great practice for the large challenges. Take this life one bite at a time, it’s more enjoyable, and a lot easier to stay focused instead of overwhelmed.

2. Surround yourself with people that are cooler than you.

One of the best strategic moves I made in this life was becoming friends with your dad and mom. Not only are they a lot cooler than I am, but they have provided me with spiritual, monetary, and networking support. If your dad hadn’t paid me to help build the crib you sleep in, or install the carpet you roll around on, I would have starved, or at least had to ask my parents for help (how embarrassing). The point is, people that are cooler most certainly have a perspective on life that can move you forward. It’s up to you to decide what “cooler” means. If I could put my two cents in, cool does not mean most popular, or even better looking. It truly means unique, kind, and creative.

3. You’re never too far to turn around and come home.

Your dad texted me tonight and told me that you had puked in your bed, he washed you and changed you; then… you ralphed again….on him. I guarantee that he will wake up tomorrow, see your beautiful eyes still filled with sleep and dreams. He will catch a small glimpse of a smile spread across your face as you say “daddy”, and he won’t be able to help but fall in love with you all over again. No matter what you do, your parents will love you. NO MATTER WHAT!!! Your parents learned from their parents. If only you could remember the amount of unconditional love that your grandfather had for you and your father as he extended out his arms to hold you for the first time, you would be able to comprehend what the word “limitless” truly means. We have a tendency to think that we can run far enough away from home, or even God, that their love can’t reach us. But, this is simply a selfish lie we tell ourselves to escape the guilt we feel for hurting the ones we love. Just remember though, that all of us who love you, will never stop loving you regardless of the decisions you make. Unless you get another favorite uncle, that is.

Jaq, you’re not going to be a baby forever, and after that, you’re not going to be a child forever. You will grow out of childhood and discover teen angst and resentment for authority. Then you’ll wake up an adult, hopefully find the love of your life and settle down to create little copies of yourself and your partner. For now, though, remember that the only mistake in life that we can possibly make is not asking the questions that burn inside of us. Be inquisitive, innovative and curios. Take every opportunity you can to learn about something that intrigues you. Don’t live to work, work only when you need money to live. Be kind to everyone, and laugh as much as you can. I will see you soon, and I might even bring something obnoxious for you to annoy your parents with!

Your favorite uncle,

Justin (pronounced Jup-san)

Second life game, or actually living?

I’ve been researching games lately. The second life culture is fascinating, and also it is so incredibly advanced that people are actually “living” via these virtual spaces. I would like to argue that this type of diversion from reality is not the first outcropping of people devoting themselves to something to separate themselves from their own lives.

I was washing my newly purchased car. It was bought to get me from A to B, but also to relay a message about my image, and even satisfy some of my urges to go fast. As I was spending time on the details of the car, making sure it shined, I realized that we all live in a second life game. We all choose something that is completely unproductive to sink our teeth into and escape reality. People that sit behind a computer screen for hours at a time are no different then those that bury themselves in work, or watch TV endlessly, or read books all the time.

Well, maybe gamers are different. Maybe these people who we label outcasts, that create a virtual representation of themselves, are actually ahead of the curve when it comes to truly living. I’m talking about community. A gamer knows that the main goal is to become better, level up, gain experience, but he or she also understands that without the community of other gamers there to work with, or even against, there would be no point to playing.

Society works along these same lines, I believe that you will find the people that are more secluded away from society with other distractions are usually the ones that deny themselves the ability to truly connect with other people. These are the people that have signed out of the social world, and started playing offline. Now, what is the point, the point of this entry is the same point of life, live it with people.

I heard an interesting point concerning this thought and biblical teachings. Adam was in paradise, walked with God in the cool of the day, and had everything he could ever imagine, except for community. God is, in himself, community. He gave Adam another person to be with to fulfill an innate desire to be with someone, and this was all before sin entered into the human condition. I believe that I am made to love people, and I desire to be loved, the symptom is my purchase of a nice car and the guilty feeling after pizza because I think these things affect my ability to share love.

Find the distractions in your life that keep you away from being able to share yourself with people. Root out the material possessions, bad habits, or personal stubbornness that interferes with your necessity to be a part of a community. Reach out to someone and share some of that time you were saving for the next episode that you won’t even remember tomorrow. No matter your religion, belief system, or lack thereof, you desire the satisfaction that only relationships with another person can give you.

Surreal Entrepreneur

Month: February, 2014

February 26, 2014

A letter to my “Niece”

February 2, 2014

Second life game, or actually living?