Surreal Entrepreneur

I remember as a child, maybe 5 or 6, living in a small split level house in Charlotte, NC, there was a basketball hoop in my front driveway. It was the only other basketball hoop in the neighborhood except for a hoop down the gently sloping hill and around a curve in one of the cul-de-sacs. Every so often, several kids from the neighborhood would congregate at my house to play basketball and of course, most of them were older, taller, and stronger than I was.

This distinct memory that comes to mind is being knocked down by a kid probably twice my age and size during a friendly game. Although I don’t really remember his face, I remember the distinct look of instant remorse as he realized he’d been too aggressive with a small child. My memory ends there, but I can guess that I probably writhed around on the ground clutching whatever limb had been scraped or knocked, probably crying a mixture of tears half pain and half for sympathy. This wasn’t the first time I’d been roughed up trying to fit in with the older kids and certainly wouldn’t be my last.

I do remember my dad’s reaction to this whole ordeal. It was partially cajoling, but partially stern. If you’ve had a chance to meet my father, you’d probably identify him as a jovial, gets-along-with-everybody kind of guy. Always willing to provide anyone with a helping hand (sometimes more willing than others) and most of the time there with a ready smile.

He would pick me up, brush me off, wipe tears off of my face, examine the damage, and depending on the level of harm he would most likely encourage me to keep playing. I’m sure at times I would run back into the game in a fit of rage trying to prove that I’m not just another little guy. I’m sure there were times that I would get upset and run into the house to see if mom’s sympathy tank was still full. But he always gave me the option to get back in the game.

I also remember using a little bouncy rubber ball to practice dribbling, him standing over me coaching me saying “Head up, butt down”. Head up to watch the defender, and butt down to better move laterally.

It hasn’t been until now, shortly after my 26^th father’s day that I’ve put the pieces together of what may be a coincidence, but I believe was a calculated lesson my father was teaching me. I’ve never considered myself to be “the little guy”. I’ve always walked into a situation that should be obviously overwhelming, believing that I have what it takes to conquer any giant, be it a 5’2” 12 year old, or a $100,000 website.

Not only did he teach me to fearlessly approach the big obstacles, but he taught me to take a fall, get back up, charge back into the fight, and if all else fails work my tail off practicing and learning about how to do it better next time. These are some of the skills that I can say have been most valuable in my professional life, and I can directly trace them back to my Dad teaching me these lessons as well as the rest of my family.

Recently I’ve been caught up in a whirlwind, building a professional life, trying to balance a social life, attempting to move all around the world, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not thankful for the people (not just family) that raised me to be the man I am today. Although I don’t express it, and sometimes I fail to recognize the blessings I’ve received, I cannot be more appreciative of the people, failures, and successes that have made me who I am. I’m sorry this came late, but happy father’s day.

In my old age (26) I’m starting to understand that even the most heroic of my mentors see plateaus or even decrease in their zeal. When a person creates an entire professional career based on tenacity, sometimes the momentum starts to dwindle. I believe that a successful character always figures out a way to create momentum from a complete stand still.

I remember an X-men sequel movie that came out with a character called the Juggernaut. I should add that I did see him first in comic books, but never closely followed any of his story lines. I digress… His “special power” was the ability to literally run through any material in his path. If he could gain inertia, then mass destruction would be caused. If I could stay in this nerdy mindset for just a little bit longer: if given the opportunity to choose a power, I would have chosen Rogue’s mutation. She had the unique ability to absorb the powers of anyone that she came into physical contact. This initially was dangerous for her compatriots but as her character grew and Professor X unlocked her potential she would finally be able to control her abilities and leave the target of her absorption unharmed…

To get off the nerdy train: I believe that the best way to make a better life for ourselves is to absorb the strengths of the ones that we surround ourselves with. Also, I believe that we are a conglomeration of the company that we keep. So to sum up that long winded and juvenile diatribe above… Surround yourself with good people and learn everything you can from them. Be like Rogue and absorb catastrophic momentum from the Juggernauts you keep in your life, this will enable you to be unstoppable once you start moving forward.

Dear Jaq,

Happy 2nd birthday! Now, I know it’s a little late and I’m sure you have been waiting for something shiny, mildly dangerous, or… just money. But, we both know that I’m the most irresponsible “uncle” that ever existed. Fear not, (spoiler alert) an awesome set of plastic tools in a pink and green tool box is coming in the mail soon. In the mean time, I want to tell you some things that I wish someone would have told me when I was younger. Take it or leave it, but know I love you and only want the best for you!

1. Small victories are underrated.

As you grow up, your parents and loved ones will all tell you how special you are and that you can do anything in this world that you set your mind to. You will constantly be reminded that you can be president or the first person to walk on mars, or the first woman to reach the sound barrier on two wheels. While all of these things are ABSOLUTELY TRUE, remember that to be president, you have to get through high school, to walk on mars, you have to master walking, and to break the sound barrier on a motorcycle you might want to learn how to ride a bike first. This life is about pushing yourself to accomplish the first steps and gain momentum to take on the larger goals. Accomplishing small victories will be great practice for the large challenges. Take this life one bite at a time, it’s more enjoyable, and a lot easier to stay focused instead of overwhelmed.

2. Surround yourself with people that are cooler than you.

One of the best strategic moves I made in this life was becoming friends with your dad and mom. Not only are they a lot cooler than I am, but they have provided me with spiritual, monetary, and networking support. If your dad hadn’t paid me to help build the crib you sleep in, or install the carpet you roll around on, I would have starved, or at least had to ask my parents for help (how embarrassing). The point is, people that are cooler most certainly have a perspective on life that can move you forward. It’s up to you to decide what “cooler” means. If I could put my two cents in, cool does not mean most popular, or even better looking. It truly means unique, kind, and creative.

3. You’re never too far to turn around and come home.

Your dad texted me tonight and told me that you had puked in your bed, he washed you and changed you; then… you ralphed again….on him. I guarantee that he will wake up tomorrow, see your beautiful eyes still filled with sleep and dreams. He will catch a small glimpse of a smile spread across your face as you say “daddy”, and he won’t be able to help but fall in love with you all over again. No matter what you do, your parents will love you. NO MATTER WHAT!!! Your parents learned from their parents. If only you could remember the amount of unconditional love that your grandfather had for you and your father as he extended out his arms to hold you for the first time, you would be able to comprehend what the word “limitless” truly means. We have a tendency to think that we can run far enough away from home, or even God, that their love can’t reach us. But, this is simply a selfish lie we tell ourselves to escape the guilt we feel for hurting the ones we love. Just remember though, that all of us who love you, will never stop loving you regardless of the decisions you make. Unless you get another favorite uncle, that is.

Jaq, you’re not going to be a baby forever, and after that, you’re not going to be a child forever. You will grow out of childhood and discover teen angst and resentment for authority. Then you’ll wake up an adult, hopefully find the love of your life and settle down to create little copies of yourself and your partner. For now, though, remember that the only mistake in life that we can possibly make is not asking the questions that burn inside of us. Be inquisitive, innovative and curios. Take every opportunity you can to learn about something that intrigues you. Don’t live to work, work only when you need money to live. Be kind to everyone, and laugh as much as you can. I will see you soon, and I might even bring something obnoxious for you to annoy your parents with!

Your favorite uncle,

Justin (pronounced Jup-san)

Inches behind the table he stands poised to attack. The ball is lobbed in front of him and he raises his striking arm to punish the opponents mistake. He uncoils and makes contact with the small orange sphere sending it screaming towards the opposite side of the table over the small net. This game is the perfect way to test someone’s personality. He stands impatiently waiting to attack, he’s aggressive and confident, however he doesn’t underestimate his opponent and he calculates most risks. Ping pong has taught me a lot about my own life, and now teaches me about my boss.

Some of you know that I have just started a new marketing job with a company in Asheville, NC. I have left the higher education realm to pursue a position in the “private sector”. I view this as a possible foot hold into the marketing world but most importantly as an opportunity to learn. I’m enthralled with the constant task of learning everything I can about the client’s industry and then translating creativity into thought provoking advertisement. 

I’d love to brag about my boss, even though he’s 51, he still treats everyone with the same excitement and zeal he probably displayed as a 25 year old. Every person he meets he shows genuine interest in and then hounds them to gain more information about their businesses and interests. Even though he’s late bloomer to the entrepreneurial world, he has developed all the tools to build any of his creative ideas and has successfully done so in several ventures. I have yet to beat him in a round of ping pong, and I’m half Chinese (yes, he’s that good). I believe it’s fitting to talk about the new year, my new opportunities, and my new boss by incorporating all of these things into a few bullet points about what I’ve learned in the last month of my new job.

1. This is overplayed around New Years, but for a very solid reason… The most important aspect of your success is connection between mind and body. That being said, remember that time you were working on an important project and thought “I’m ready for a break, should I spend 5 more minutes on working or go play on (insert pointless website or video game here)?” Fact: It is scientifically corroborated that showing dedication in the gym and completing goals in personal fitness creates more determination in the workplace. Think of your will power as another muscle that gets worked out with every rep in the gym.

2. As a naturally confident person who fancies himself as intelligent (I can feel you rolling your eyes) you can see how this next point is hard for me to swallow… Always think outside the box, but know when to keep your mouth shut. Every boss has gotten to where they are for a reason, it might be sheer luck, sometimes nepotism, but a lot of the time it is talent and hard work. That being said, remember that you’re most likely expendable. About half of US college grads are currently underemployed or unemployed, you can be replaced. But, also remember that you are the one who can and will get things done, and you have a vision that needs to be heard… just wait till the right moment.

3. Don’t forget about God. I don’t know your faith system or if you practice one at all… but regardless of what you believe, we can agree that we are called to greatness. Whether we are called to be janitors or CEOs, something inside of us doesn’t want to settle for sub-par. So, I have worked to do everything to the best of my ability because my creator made me so expertly to work for His glory. Religious talk aside, remember that your inner being will not settle for anything less than the greatness that expert status can assure of. It’s hard, it takes time and patience, but growth is what we’re on this planet for. 

I hope that you reflect on a good run at 2013, recognize how lucky and blessed you have been to be able to see 2014 roll in. Adjust to writing a 4 at the end of the year instead of a 3 quickly so you don’t have to waste paper. Most importantly, I hope that you pursue unreachable perfection in everything you do, even if it is just top spin on a back hand.

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